UnNOTICED BEAUTY
Why do I feel alone. in a white world. a world that makes absolutely no sense. a world that contradicts every aspect of spoken values. a world with glaring eyes that stare at the one layer of skin that represents me. a world with glaring eyes that judge me. who am i to get judged? i in many eyes and minds I am a young lesbian. a lesbian that loves to hold her girlfriends hand as we walk no matter where our feet wander. a young woman that is called beautiful everyday of her life by seldom minded people that dont know what real beauty is. a classy female that carries herself with upmost respect to get called a bitch on sight because i walk with my head in the air. a lady that covers her skin to hide her body so peeping eyes wont peer at what does not need to be seen, yet i get looked down on by young minded ladies that flaunt their skin to the world. twisted the viewings and values are. words and thoughts speak out from people that should be the last ones to speak. words and thoughts speak out from people that do not know the truth or definition of the word beautiful. so my beauty goes unnoticed. hazed by the pupil yet unseen by the human eye. many judge me by the outer layer of skin that entraps my true beauty. you feel the need to judge me by the clothes i wear? for the clothes i wear does not scream who i am. you judge me by the skin that rests on my heart spirit and soul? for i do not wear beauty on my sleeves. cut me open and turn me inside out then maybe you can have the breath to call me beautiful. until then speak silence and judge me in your thoughts. for you will never know what my honest inner beauty is. you dont know me and maybe never will. i am the unseen soul that blends in the back. want to find me …try harder
im not trying to change the world
just how people perceives it
i am UnNOTICED BEAUTY
MY CHANCE
Its my chance to let my mind wonder….to drift away n the wind like a piece of sand waiting for that perfect spot to land on the beach!
Its my chance to set myself free like a bird flying south for the winter with no intentions to return to the life that its leaving.
Its my chance to come correct and face my fears with a venegence….hitting them over the head like a cracked bottle thrown against a wall.
Its my chance to let go and start over because life has to be filled with more than just one happy moment…it has to have more than one thing that will keep my smile flared and ready…ready for an adventure…Making me the creator of love, lauging and crying!
Its my chance to finish what I started without turning around or looking back at a life thats keeping me so worried…as a ponder on things that shouldnt really have a meaning to me.
Am I losing it, or is it losing me….who cares where the tugging is coming from, all I know is that I am breaking loose, like an inmate in a prison cells anticipating the day he will get his freedom back!
Life is reaching out to me with opening arms waiting for me to take that dive head first! I am watching, i’m not ready..what do u do when your so afraid and nothing can take the fear out of your heart.
Where do u start when its your chance to trust in the lord and let him work his miracle on your life! Not wanting to contradict the salvation that he has set for my life!
My conscience want let you be the disobedient child..all I can do is follow the path hes takin me one…I am exploring, looking at all my options, walking the path he is taking steps in. Paying attention to the way that I am feeling as my heart grew warm from the smile he made when he realized I was an obedient servant following behind him.
Its my chance to succeed even when the lord seems so far away, even when the tears show more than smiles, even when I feel like I have nobody, even when I feel like giving up. And most of all when I feel like no one understands me…its me chance to become greatness!
Its my chance to say I will trust you even if I dont know when the pain will end…like a mother trying to figure out why her newborn child is crying with no sense of communication to get an honest answer, just that nurturing feeling that says baby i’ll do whatever it takes to stop the emotional rollercoaster u r on.
How do u make the effort when I know its my chance but I am terrified to stray from Gods hands, but I am ready to accept the things that life is throwing me.
It is my chance to wipe away the memories and start new ones…especially when fate is staring me dead in the face trying to see who will crack first, the body standing dead in front of the problem, or my soul that God has made up to be so strong!
Its my chance to say that I am more than a conqueror…so its either u join me…or I walk past u! But either way its my chance to be free!
LAST NIGHTI could feel the heat coming from my body when she walked in last night demanding the attention that I only wanted to give her.
What was I doing, simply fantasizing about this girl that was coming closer and closer to me.
Her brown skin, to die for smile and a voice that would send a chill threw every bone in your body:
I lost it; with only a cold chill snapping me back into focus so I wouldnt seem desperate to know her name.
I watched her come into view praying she would tell her name into my ear and say a little extra to make me feel like the woman I knew I was.
Letting the words leave her mouth and flow into my ear: ”I want you” rolled clean of her tongue and in my mind the words SOLD played in my head like my favorite song: over and over and over again.
She kissed my forehead caressing my hair all in one stroke, no women has done before! I wanted her, wanted her like a striving artist waiting for a record deal.
Wanted her like a beautiful butterfly waiting for the sweet summer.
Standing up to relieve myself from the sweat running down my face and the sensation flaring up between my thighs. This girl was one of a kind!
Not the playa type…not the “I want to have my cake and eat it too” and not the one that rang out with that bs: I have a girlfriend but I am gonna hold on to all my ex’s a little longer.
I could see in her pretty chestnut brown eyes that she only wanted ME.
I felt her watch my every move as I turned around in my form fitting black shorts wishing something was show just enough to give her a show: I knew she was checking every piece of me out!
What a fairy tale! I pinched myself only not being able to open my eyes to see her still standing in my presence awaiting the moment I would give her that alone time, that SO SASSY time!
Not wanting to toot my own horn but I knew she wanted. Or at least I thought because shortly after my sexy bend acting like I dropped something on the floor she grabbed my from behind, holding me close like I belonged to her and she wanted no one else to see.
I opened my eyes and left all the questions, sadness and lonliness behind me because for the moment I had her: I had love and even if it lasted for five minutes I didnt have a care in the world.
NO BOYS ALLOWED (IM SO SASSY)
As I walk to my seat, I feel her, She is about to burst as his eyes stipped her from head to toe.
The sassy n me comes from scrubs like u
Not having a clue about my ora.
Mine says grown woman and urs….says scared lil boy…
Chasing not passing,
Sleazy,
Skanky,
Azz bytches not for there class but for a piece of azz
thats probably already been givin to u, yo uncle and yo bestfriend.
Then u talk about the sassy n me.
The sassy n me comes from dudes like YOU who have that pimp ni99a mentality…
Hit her,
Quit her,
Beat her,
Dont eat her.
And then u want a real woman like me to respect ur high school act,
Fall for u,
Be ur baby doll all bc u think u can control what kind of woman i’ll be…
Sorry, its not gonna happen.
The sassy n me comes from the coward n u who thinkS ur dyck is what KEPT me around.
Not tryna toot my horn but keep strokin your own ego bc thats as far as my mind goes.
The sassy n me comes from all that i’ve been through…
The Struggle,
The Pain,
The Brokeness,
When will the day come 4 u to b real wit ya self!!!
There reaction when i’m n the mist: PRICELESS!
The sassy n me comes from loose neck bytches who think there better that me but when reality sets n the realization says “I…..am truly one of a kind.”
The sassy n me says yeah I’m confident and gotta reason to b…
Classy: Check
Intelligent: Check
Personality: Check
Realness: Check and the list goes on.
The sassy n me says fuqq u bc u’ll never b me!
Keep trying,
Applying,
and taking notes on my way of life bc thats as close as u’ll get to living or walking n the shoes that I put my feet n everyday.
The sassy n me, laughs at u: u ol’ broke down, No swag having azz ni99a.
Leaving these words as I turn my bk on u…I chose u…u didnt choose me.
The sassy n me makes u wanna call me a full blown bytch…
Stuck up,
Self centered,
Even full of myself but u kno what, the sassy n me says think what u want its a free country.
Without the sassy n me life would b a rollercoaster…
Turning,
Topsy,
Turvy and drama that would b outta this world.
Unfortunately not today or any day bc the sassy n me would make u hate me b4 u love me.
SO SASSY they hate, SI they love but we both…
give the guys a challenge and the girls a run for there money
so for now until whenever the sassy n me will always live.
She will sit bk and watch…
With an open mind,
A free spirit,
and a loving smile until u get on her bad side!
MY HEAVEN MY HELL!!
My body feels so warm is it a fever: OUCH!
The aching, the pain, my body: burning. My blood boiling, what is going on!
Tossing, turning, my head full of fucked up memories and betrayal.
Only remembering the small things that really meant something and that small group of people that haven’t done anything to hurt me.
Holding on to my pride trying to grasp my dignity: what is happening to my life!
This emotional roller coaster of feelings, dreams and mishaps, u gotta be kidding me.
Frustration rings my head like an alarm only going off when my mind is at ease.
Thinking and imaging that peaceful place: Sigh* Peace and Happiness!
Painting a picture so vivid: yet, heart warming. I’ve never visioned a place so sweet.
Heaven: where I wanna b when shyt hits the fan and I lose control of all that I stand for as a individual in a cruel and hateful world.. Hell…Right here on earth!!!
No one caring, people rebelling and a ton of bullshyt caused by those who are suppose to be there for you through every trial and tribulation: what a joke!
Where do you find the blessing when you feel hidden, when you start to lose faith in your self and your only answer is to give up?
You get outta hell and jump into heaven: where only those that matter will matter.
My skin beginning to cool from the realization that my life is only what my make it…my friends, family and etc. are accessories and not necessities.
Oh spare me the hell and show me the heaven because once my eyes shut it will be to late!
About me
TAKE A LOOK INTO MY WORLD, EXPERIENCE MY EVERY THOUGHT This is the world i live in, and this crazy world is what i call life. I myself, am not perfect. I'm full of mistakes, burried in troubles, and covered in flaws. Somewhere between the lines, i've gained more then i've lost, but i've yet to find content with that. Over the course of my life, i've lived and did some things they say i've done, but i'm not who they say i am. I'm intelligent, and i have goals. I'm head-strong, and i have purpose, however, i still have alot to figure out. I'm not the girl you once knew. I've eliminated people out of my life. The people that i felt had no true "depth", and that's the truth. Some would call it "fake", but in the REAL W0RLD, it's called "growing the hell UP." I've noticed that people lather over the sayings "bro's before hoes", and "friends first", but that's N0T reality. You choose the ones that you know you need, and those are the ones that'll help you succeed. I won't boast about anything, because life shouldn't be lived to "boast." All i know is that i've W0RKED for mine, and i can honestly
say that i AM a young W0MAN.
I Look At Myself And Realize That This Time Last Year I Was A GIRL Lost... Today I Am A WOMAN Who Knows Exactly What I want In Life... Putting And Keeping Myself First... Loving My Life And All My Future Endeavors...
